Well, that didn’t last long

Ten minutes, apparently:

Imitation is said to be the greatest form of flattery but for one Melbourne driver, taking to the streets of Albert Park has turned into a great form of foolery.

Just 10 minutes after purchasing a 2013 Porsche SUV, a 37-year-old Yallambie man was pulled over after allegedly being clocked at more than 60km/h over the speed limit and had his new car impounded.

What’s more:

The enthusiastic driver filmed himself on a mobile phone while travelling at more than double the speed limit along Aughtie Drive, part of Melbourne’s Grand Prix Circuit.

I’m guessing he thought the police never, ever look at social media. But they didn’t have to, since they caught him in person.

Have your next toe-jam session catered

Fried chicken, foot flavor

Forget the Colonel’s eleven herbs and spices. This stuff supposedly tastes like the inside of Toru Hagakure’s socks:

At first glance, the menu at Japanese takeout chain Tenka Torimasu looks incredibly simple. They serve karaage (Japanese-style fried chicken), karaage bento boxed lunches with rice, cabbage, and potato salad, and that’s all. But there’s a hidden depth of variety at Tenka Torimasu, because of how many different flavors of fried chicken they offer.

Want teriyaki fried chicken? No problem. Neither are curry, wasabi, sweet chili, ponzu, or plum. And as this month, you can also try girls’ sole flavor.

Just to make that clear, that’s not “girls’ soul” or any other representation of the concept of youthful femininity, but “girls’ sole,” as in “this fried chicken tastes like the bottom of a young woman’s foot.”

Definitely don’t get the extra crispy.

Milestone approaching

It’s been almost a quarter-century since I was thirty-nine, same age as hometown homie Jack Benny, but I remember spending a lot of time thinking about being forty. So I can still appreciate this observation by Shailaja V:

When I make up my mind to learn something, I go all in. It’s almost as if this ‘learning demon’ possesses me and I fill myself to the brim with everything possible. Don’t worry, it’s a harmless creature.

I am not known for going all in. Still, at the age of 42 I got this insane idea that I ought to have my own little section of the World Wide Web, which barely existed the year I was 39. And, demonically enough, I still have it.

When a Panic Attack Strikes

I’ve had a few of these myself, and by “a few” I mean “more than anyone should have to endure.”

No Light Without Darkness

I’d finished another day at work. It had been busy, but not hectic. Nothing really memorable happened that day, it all went by in a blur as I was thinking about my evening plans.

I was going to the cinema with my mum, like we do most Thursdays. Baby Driver, my suggestion, a film I had been excited to see since I saw the trailer two months before.

I love going to the cinema, it’s always been one of my favourite things to go out for, probably one of the only ‘going out’ activities I’ll participate in. You don’t have to do anything except sit back and enjoy a film. And I love films, I could get lost in one of my favourites, they’re a form of escapism for me, and in a reality where I constantly fight with myself, I hang on to fiction.

We’d met for a coffee…

View original post 917 more words

A post-eclipse love song

“The Sun Ain’t Gonna Shine Anymore,” recorded at a Four Seasons session in 1965, was intended as a Frankie Valli solo release. It didn’t go anywhere, but the Walker Brothers, a British Invasion group who were not from Britain, not brothers, and not named Walker, topped the British charts the next year with a splendidly-overproduced cover.

Last week, we got to hear the song in a suitably bleak arrangement, courtesy of Saddest Clown Ever Puddles Pity Party.

The stupidest thing the federal government does

I’m sure we can top this Australian effort here in the US.

Watts Up With That?

From The Spectator-Australia

David Archibald

field

This is a tale of idiocy, full of facts and foreboding, signifying that the end times must be surely upon us. A bloke bought a sheep property of half a million acres in western Queensland for $2.0 million. Instead of running sheep on it, he now gets $350,000 per annum under the federal government’s Direct Action scheme for not using the grass on his property. The idea being that the grass locks up carbon and reduces Australia’s carbon emissions. A neighbouring property gets $600,000 per annum. Direct Action is a $1.7 billion per annum program funded from general taxation revenue.

Now people may be paid, from time to time, for not doing things and there may be a rational reason for that.  But being paid for allowing grass to stand undisturbed? That grass is going to rot or be burnt within three years anyway. Not…

View original post 443 more words

A blowtorch toward a snowflake

A friend of mine hasn’t actually blown her top, but she’s definitely had it up to here:

Listen. Really, listen. I don’t care how much melanin content you’ve got, who or what you want to consentually rub your gooey parts against, or how you’d like to identify yourself. Are you useful? Can you make me a sandwich? Mow my lawn? File my taxes? Massage my feet while painting my toenails? Entertain me?

No?

Really?

Nothing …

Then why for any deity’s sake should I give a flying flip about your well being? Because you feel discriminated against? Show me.

Let’s play.

I’m a woman of color in flyover country. I’ve never been able to pass. I’m a survivor of many things I never deserved, but the sun just keeps rising so I better keep on.

The world has crapped on me and my own over and over and yet, we persevere. You, my dear snowflake, really can too. Yes, you too can own a tiny house in the suburbs with innumerable plumbing problems and mice so your children can go to the right schools and you’ve got the bragging rights of living in the right suburb.

What’s that? Your point is being missed?

So you’re a socialist? That’s awesome. What, exactly, are you contributing to society? From each according to his ability, yes? So, what are your abilities? What are you throwing into the pot for redistribution?

Oh! You have a bowl.

You really should read the whole thing.